A so called *macho* man describing how appalled he felt for seeing an effeminate young man ordering a cup of coffee in one of Amman’s calm cafes – as he put it- (I wonder if he is talking about starbucks here).
In a sarcastic tone, the smart ass writer, tries to explain how hard he had to hold himself from beating up the effeminate man, because – notice this – ‘it isn’t his right’! So he just stared at him! When the effeminate man didn’t reciprocate the stare, he felt his manhood at its peak!
The poor guy had his world crumbled. He didn’t believe that effeminate men exist in amman or even the whole world as he states! He, shamelessly, points to the effeminate man with the word ‘creature’ in a typical attempt of intolerant people to de-humanize those who are different from them. Why would he try to understand the existence of different human beings than they taught him at school? Why would he question the inherited backward rigid lines of sexual roles? Why would he let go of his inherited ‘truth’ and try to think about it in an objective matter? Isn’t it easier to just get angry? Shout out and attack the effeminate guy for there are a lot of people around who are ready to cheer and clap. Is tolerance a hard word to spell?
Read his full post here
Read it translate by google here (a bad translation but might give you an idea)
Fadi Zaghmout فادي زغموت 
This wins the award of the most ridiculous comment of the year:بس عجبني تعليق حج كبير زي ابو محمد اللي بتحكي عنهاتطلع عليه وقال “هي من قليل مش راضيه تشتي !!!”Yes. God is punishing us by stopping it from raining because of people who are too ‘feminine’. A bunch of bigots. If anything it’s the stupidity and ignorance of people like him who has kept the Arab world lagging behind.
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I haven’t read his post but it is of no surprise to me that there are people that still think that way in the Arab world.Humans have always sought superiority over one another, if it wasn’t over sexual preference then it would have been over race or inheritance, so it is pointless to argue with people that share such a mentality.What really pisses me off is when cowards act tough when they are in a group, if that guy was was in group of social minority he would not have dared act the way he did, it is only because we have stupid mentalities that support and encourage such uncivilized behavior.
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Ok, so let’s say that people should be more tolerant with “other” kind of people.Now, my point of view is that you almost did the same thing, you attacked the guy based on your own assumptions and beliefs. I don’t think that people in Jordan are ready to accept such things here in Jordan, call us retarded, but even in developing countries such people are looked upon in not-very-comfortable way.I don’t imagine that I will be easy if I saw such a view, we are still much of a conservative society here in Jordan, and these things are not well appreciated and welcomed in our society.we had effeminate people in Jordan since a long time, this wasn’t something new, but those people used to conform to the trends and culture of the society they were living in , The Conservative Jordanian Society.( in clothing at least)I don’t think I myself am a racist, but can’t you look to it the other way: this guy was dressed in a very awkward clothing (that is in Jordan), so wasn’t he looking for problems too? and wasn’t he this way offending the others who do not agree with his view, but yet have to tolerate watching him this way, you know it’s not just about dressing that confirms anyone as an effeminate, right?
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يعني برأيك المفروض انه نتقبل هيك اشكال قصدي المخنثين -بشكل اوضح- في مجتمعنا اللي المفروض انه مجتمع محافظ ؟ واذا ما تقبلنا يعني احنا رجعيين وما بنقدر الحرية الشخصية؟؟احنا عالم متخلفين ورجعين وان شاء الله ما نصير تقدميين وياريت يضل فينا ناس تستغرب وما تتقبل هيك اشكال لانه وقت ما تقبلناها … علينا السلام وقتيها … ايوة علينا السلام اكتر من هيكUR post is the worst I’ve read
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تخبّوا تخبّواشُفت أُسامة الرمح جاي
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Yazan, hehehe! 7aram the poor feminine guy is the cause of all of our troubles! Nizar, you are right. Man maybe you should go read the post! Eshe berfa3 el da’3et!Tha2ir, why would it be hard for you? how does his effiminate clothes affect you? Really? I want to understand here. What gives you the right to interfere with his looks? Is it just because your eyes are not accustomed to such scene?! Freedom means diversity. We need the power of choice, the ability to chose for ourselves even for the basics like clothing. We don’t have all to look the same. That is the retardation of our inherited system. Being a conservative society is not an excuse. The guy didnt come out naked! simsim, yes, we are backward for being tolerant enough to accept the diversity of people in our society. Yes, this is also about individual freedom. It is about freedom of choice and respect to others own choices.Please explain to me how would we be worse by being tolerant to effiminate men? Have you asked yourself what job this young man carries? Did you ask yourself how much he is fruitful to his own community and family? Did you try to look at the human behing his effiminate looks? Don’t you realize that he has feelings and emotions and a brain for his own? Don’t you think that he realize people’s reactions and that he might have a stronger need to look this way than to seek others acceptance?
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mab3oos, loooool! That was funny!
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Hello Fadi! My name is Yvette and I have som questions about your participation in the YLVP. I’d like to send you an e-mail but I can’t find your adress. Maybe you can send me one and I’ll get your adress. yvette_lindholm@hotmail.com
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An effeminate man and a masculine woman ,sooooooooo against nature…
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so i am a teacher lets say i support my family and help them and I am a good listener …. but i just felt like walking naked in the street … mmm tell me now it’s not the same ?? it’s my choice and people have to respect this …. right ? other wise they r backwards !we r conservator society does that mean we have to fight our nature just to be called tolerant? such look or behaviors is not acceptable every where …. and against the nature … also against our religion …. and for becoming worst when we accept this i don’t think u will appreciate what i will say because i will explain it from a religious point of view …bottom line we see such people every day so argument won’t make less of them but at least in our heart we don’t accept such thing and we have to disagree with it… if u ever heard of the term ad3af al2emaan 🙂
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The freedom of any individual stops when he interferes with the freedom of others, but this is NOt what I based my argument on, I based it mainly that we’re living in a conservative society, believe me I’ve been around and have seem such views, that didn’t affect me at all, cause this was a usual thing there. But here! I don’t think so, and I still believe that he did it solely to attract attention and make a fuss about it. I mean he can be an effeminate without having to look ridiculously odd, right?what I’m against is not what people are in their nature, but what people do to show their nature, which can be offending to many people. Again, we are not a liberal society in Jordan, at least not yet; and till we reach such a state, I would personally consider anyone who tries to provoke any contradictory behavior to our values, as simply one who’s looking for trouble.
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look in this case its not about the effeminate or not, its about making a choice about your clothing. Personally i’m not against any choices of clothes, but i know when i wear something that a lot of people will look oddly at i have to bear the burden of my choice. for example, i prefer wearing certain things that don’t go well with a lot of people and i heard a lot of shit about it being told bluntly to my face. My reaction has been just short of cutting their balls off and hence i never got direct shit from them again. so when i made my choice to wear something i was ready to deal with the consequences. So for anyone that objects be sure that you might be faced with a less than expected reaction, sometimes. and for those that can’t handle the heat stay away from the fire …
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Anon, what does you know about nature?simsim, what does you know about nature as well?To answer your question, yes, if someone decided to go out naked in the street, then it should be up to him. But unfortunatly there is a rule against nudity.Societies are formed from different individuals. The larger a society is, the harder it is to conform everyone to the same set of rigid rules especially those against one’s own nature. Today’s cities are big enough to accept different kinds of people. What we can’t compromise is the safety of those people forming this society. If they don’t hurt each then, then they are free to do what pleases them! and no, unpleasant sight doesn’t consider to be ‘hurt’.Tha2ir, but we are living in a big city. It is not longer a small town where everyone know everyone else and where we all have to be the same. There are sub societies and sub communities where people dress different, talk different, act different and behave different. One’s freedom of choice should be respected here.Bambam, good for you man :), unfortunatly not everyone can protect themselves if other people took offense of their clothes and decided to offend them verbally or even physically attack them.
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You are one of them, right?
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I agree that the post is distasteful, but I don’t think its by any chance the “worse”. The Jordanian blogosphere has seen worse!Tha2er: <>“what I’m against is not what people are in their nature, but what people do to show their nature,”<> – I have to disagree. The problem of our society in general is that we show that which does not reflect our nature. It might be harsh to learn that, but hypocrisy is a plague, and -IMHO- it is a serious offense that you are asking people to become hypocrites for your own inability to cope with the diverse nature of people.So maybe we should try to stop the culture of hypocrisy and appearances, and become free of internal and external restraints.
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SimSimراح توجعي راسك على الفاضي خاصة عندما تناقشي الابسورفر الممثل الشرعي والوحيد لمخنثين الاردن
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Anonymous: loool at ur comment and to the observer: why am I arguing with u ?!! (i don’t usually stare but I swear to god sometimes i keep staring to some kind of people to know if this is a guy or a girl) what a pleasant sight not disgusting at all, and so much from our culture and we r used to it …. effeminate people r every where in Amman so u win but at least don’t prevent others from not accepting them and speak their mind …. otherwise u will be the intolerant one 🙂
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hamede: Oh that’s it ya3nee? 😀 i honestly don’t know if it’s a guy or a girl …. i guess this is the first time i come here 😀 ….but what ever he is he should accept others if he is asking for respect ..
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You know, I used to comment on ur blog but then I decided to stop because there is a difference between speaking about taboos and tolerance, what you are doing here is just the first one!Tolerance is to accept the others even if they do not accept what u believe in! I am sorry to tell you this, but even when homosexuality becomes allowed in Jordan, we will not advance a bit! Do you know why? Because even now when USA is facing the crisis that endangers its being, they still have the best Universities worldwide and these Universities can easily bring back the states to number 1 country!What does this has to do with homosexuality? Nothing, but please stop referring to the Arab world as lagging just because such issues! Nazi Germany banned homosexuality and killed plenty of Jews (the second is the worst in my opinion and I do not give a shit about the first) but were such a sophisticated country and most of the technologies we use nowadays have their roots in that era and in that country!Most of the times u lack the true evidences in facing reports, and you start talking about things that have nothing to do with SCIENCE! I am referring to one of your former posts “The bright side of homosexuality in Jordan”! You just denied the research based on what you claim to have read on the internet which are not researches! If you know nothing about a true scientific research then do not talk about them!And most of the times you attack the others, which proves again that you are an extremist when it comes to homosexuality and taboos! I do not care about that doctor’s research much, but to start suspecting that he really have a PhD and that the whole medicine sector in Jordan is fucked up just because you did not like the outcomes of his research is a very twisted idea. And when you start talking about things like a measure to insure that doctors follow the latest medical findings, which apparently you do not know, ask your self, did you tried to find before asking?!Pal, just would you please go read true researches, the true researches are found on SCIENTIFIC magazines and not on the gay times or BBC or fucken commercial magazines and programs! I am not suggesting you will find that homosexuality is a fucked up nature in human, but please read, after all when you find a report in a reputed magazine that packs you point of view, you will just shove your leg in the others mouth! Please note the word reputed, because some scientific magazines are just seeking reputation and would publish reports that have no validity.When you talk out of your mind and out of internet sites you are doing nothing or adding anything! Some guys once uncovered a BIG mistake in one of the Jordanian newspapers based on what I am telling you! see this linkhttp://jordanmafia.net/blog/2008/10/16/gen-pets-what-a-lie/It is up to you to decide which one you want to be! You can just be a stereotyper who repeats what the pro-gays are saying or you can be what the other side do, attack the gays, or you can be of a 3rd type who thinks, and do not stereotype!This was just and advice!
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Observer, I have to agree with you, that guy Osama is the worst writer i have ever read to, and that article is just a new low !!!!i really would like to see that Osama since he think he being the Normal Mans Man !!!!!
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simsim, I am not preventing anyone of speaking up their mind. I am just practicing my right to speak out mine. To elaborat on hamede’s comment, I don’t only defend effiminate men, I defend human rights, social freedoms and freedom of speech. I am against violation of people’s freedoms and choices. If you read through my blog, you would realize that I do defend women the most. Genki_Dama, I don’t think that your assessment of me is fair. I never said that not accepting homosexuality is the reason of our backwardness. I may said, and I say it again that intolerance is a major part of it. Intolerance to whatever is different. Individual freedoms goes under it. Our intolerance to differences restrict our individual freedoms and thus our innovative and creative nature.I don’t know why you are bringing up the debate of an older post. I remember quoting their the most credited psychological institute in the world. The doctor research mentioned their is basing his research on a 40 years old information. His research is not scientific at all. It is bullshit. People should be careful.
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And what you are doing here is intolerance too my friend!Time its self is relative! So I can not see why an issue such as homosexuality should be taken for granted as a fact!
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Observer, tell you what i know about nature…I know that man was created to subdue; woman to assist, God created man with a nature that is aggressive and with an extra dose of testosterone, which provokes him to work harder and conquer everything in his path, that is why the male is at the forefront of conquests, exploration, architecture and inventions…etc..no woman would ever go out and tame a wild horse and make a rope out of its mane and tail..thankfully men and women were not created alike..i like to be conquered by a man, that is the way ladies are created, why do it any other way….
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<>Genki_Dama<> poor soul you try to make a point but you end up shooting yourself in the foot. since you mentioned the need to look at the right resources, not sure of any previous discussions, but do suggest some research. I’m curious what you will come up with. On another note not sure what research are we talking about here. is it the percentage of men who wear tight pants that are gay ? what is it exactly in this topic? its just a bunch of people objecting about their sensibilities being harmed. simple !ENJOY
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Genki_dama, actually you are right here, things change with time, but one can argue with current state of scienfitic finding. If psychology scientist don’t consider homosexuality to be a mental sickness and classify it as a natural sexual preference then that would be the most credible source we can depend on at this point of time. If things change in the future of human perception, then yes, things can be different. Btw, neither this nor his post is about homosexuality. It is about effiminate men. anons, obviously you only know very little about nature. The little that dominates our culture and eleminates any room for acknowledging differences.In reality, nature is not digital. It doesn’t produce 1’s and 0’s (males and females), it produces every organ of the human body in a spectrum of shapes and sizes. That is why we have the 3rd sex, that is why we have women with large boobs and others with nearly no ones. It is applied on men as well and the size of penises.
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No Angel, I am not suggesting a research, I am telling the observer that he must pack his ideas when he discuss a research with another research that packs his opinion, other than the researches that have no validity that you might find on the internet. I am not with nor against what he says, I am just saying how science must not be abused and distorted to fit our needs.And please watch your accent sir! This whole discussion is just because of the attitude that makes fun or mocks others. Reread my comment and you will see what I mean. And I am sorry but I did not understand much of your comment, I mean I can not see how I shoot my self in the foot?!The Observer, what I want to tell you is that the whole thing scientifically is not well understood, the psychology guys say it is natural while other scientists such as the genetics researchers argue that it is not. The point is there is no research that neither proves nor disproves the thing being a nature. And usually try to find the money grant source for the research; it is either the church or a religious community or a gay right group and in both cases the outcomes are known I think.For me, it is both, I find it a wrong thing, but at the same time I am against fighting these people and hating them. It is when both sides get to understand each others and get to work with each other that this issue will be solved once and for all, and I do not care about what this solution will be, the important thing is to solve the issue. And that is what is called the third alternative solution, which both sides will be happy with.
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Genki_dan, what does natural mean to you? What genetic researches you are talking about? They havent find the genes related to sexual orientation, have they? homosexuality is a product of nature, you can see it on various animal species. Psychologist don’t consider it a mental illness because homosexuals are completly capable of living a normal life. I am also with communicating people differences. I agree with you on yor last point.
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Live and let live
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Not in humans but in fruit flies they started to find some clues! Though in evolution theory it is hard to justify such a gene!Anyways, about psychology, you can not see this issue from the perspective of psychology alone! Nowadays multidisciplinary studies are the common attitude amongst researchers. Psychologists have plenty of theories about the way a sexual orientation is formed, but none proved to be fully right, and the problem with psychology is that the objects of tests are humans.Regardless, a guy with a fetish is completely capable of living a normal life, but a fetish is regarded as psychological disorder. And yes I approve that it is common in the scientific psychology stream to regard homosexuality as a normal thing.My point is attacking will always result in worthless discussion! So we should discuss this issue in a better way!
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Genki_Dama,I’m not sure what difference does it make whether its genetic or not. Regardless of the reason, some people are homosexual so let them be.Even if it was a disorder, shouldn’t we be tolerant towards ppl with disorders and let them be.
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a different perspective I am not discussing the issue, but Observer asked and I answered!anyways, if the situation is a disorder, you should at least find a solution to fix it or prevent it in the coming generations! =)If it come to me, I do not care, but in a social context, it is an issue that needs to be solved! And that is why u find people who are with and who are against! So it is a conflict that needs to be resolved! that is it =)
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باعتقادي انك هون اخطأت لانه الاختلاف بالرأي ما بيعطي حدا الحق انه يحكي بالطريقه اللي انت حكيت فيهاباعتقادي انه اسامه اتسرع في حكمه على الشخص وانت تهورت لتكتب بهالطريقه عنه والا شو الفرق يعني بين العالم المثقفه والعالم الغير كان لازم تحكي بلغة العقل اكثر والمنطق اعذرني لكن بانزعج لما اشوف كتابه فيها نوع من الاهانه والشتم وتقبل مروري وشكرا الك
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have you ever heard of women having penises or men having boobs, no because that’s not natural.
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Genes + Brain Wiring + Prenatal Hormonal Environment = TemperamentParents + Peers + Experiences = EnvironmentTemperament + Environment = Homosexual Orientation
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sozan, i respect your opinion 🙂anon, “have you ever heard of women having penises or men having boobs”Yes, I did! It does happen 🙂
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so what!!!!!this guy needs some vaginal fit.
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look observer jordan is an islamic country , in the constitution the religion of the country is islam. so homosexuality isnt accepted since its forbidden by islam and christianity and other religions. i think you have a problem with peopble doing as their religion says. by the way osama is the best blog writer in the arabic word, he knows what he writes. but you and most of other jordanian bloggers all you want is jordan to be as USA (the bad part)= nude beaches + sex on the street + disgusting homosexual reagrds their gender
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Seriously observer, I’m not trying to be funny, are you gay?
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i dont understand why people feel threatned by an effiminate male, or a masculine woman, if they arent harming anyone it really is no one’s business how someone carries themselves..
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Speaking as a North American, I can say that no matter how prevalent effeminate men appear to be in the media and news reports and how stereotypically they are portrayed, there is no reason to assume that they are gay!Further, no matter how prevalent gays appear to be in the media and news reports, they only represent less than five percent of the population anyway!This doesn’t prevent idiots from beating and killing the effeminate and gay in my country (not USA), and my city. The Arab world does not corner the market for this kind of intolerance.Having said that, I’m married, and the father of four children. I can’t grow a decent mustache, so I’d probably be viewed as being effeminate in the Arab world because I’m clean-shaven.
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