I am sure most of us have heard of many hilarious stories about people breaking up few days before their wedding day for the stupidest reasons.
One of the weirdest stories I have heard is about a couple breaking up because one of the fathers, being a doctor, wanted to write “The Doctor flan flan” (his title before his name) on the wedding card while the other father didn’t approve it because people would think of him of being of a lower social status.
What we gloat about the strength of family relations that we enjoy in the Arab world compared to the western countries can be problematic at times when families extend their natural role of support into dictating the lives of their members.
It is not enough that some fathers have to approve their son’s future wife and her family, but they also are entitled to write their titles and their names on their son’s wedding invitation card building on the stupidity of a society that worships superficiality.
The couple mentioned above would have prevented such problem from arising and may be happily married by now if they dared to stand up to themselves and drop off their fathers’ names. But that would be a huge disrespect to the fathers that would make hell break loose and leave them ostracized by their whole families. It is funny because writing down their mothers’ names would be perceived as disrespect for their families as well due to the social status of women in our society.
We may be proud of the achievements of the Jordanian women so far, but sometimes it is the tiny details in a unanimous behavior that we call tradition, and in which it seems impossible to break for we assign a sacred – almost – status to, that wakes us up and states that gender equality has a long way to go.
Individual freedoms suffer the same way.
Fadi Zaghmout فادي زغموت 
well this shouldn’t have been turned into a feminist case, because i beg to differ. Fadi, do you think if one of the mothers was a doctor, while the other wasn’t, or let’s say she was title-less, the same problem regarding the same families in question wouldn’t have occurred?don’t get me wrong here.. I’m all with gender equality, but superficiality is the case in question here, not gender inequality 🙂
LikeLike
People should always behave and listen to their parents, but occasionally they have to tell them to shut the hell up, and this is one case. Any doctor who insists on being called a doctor in public is either a terribly bad doctor, ot someone who get his PhD from a nuss-kom college, or just a moron.
LikeLike
secratea, I agee, the issue at hand here in the incident I mentioned is superficiality.But the issue of the card itself and how we print them out is an issue of gender inequality and lack of individual freedoms. Like I said, it appears in tiny details 🙂Hareega, actually it is more of a social issue. You can find it everywhere in Jordan. Not just doctors, but lawyers, engineers and others with PHD!
LikeLike
I love the respect you show women. It makes me smile. 🙂
LikeLike
I even heard that some people call the wedding off cuz the mother in law didn’t like the bride’s wedding gown…I do agree that at some point the parents need to back off and shosh it…
LikeLike
Hareega! Why did you – by default – blame the doctor for the situation?! If he is a good Dr. or a terrible one is besides the point, he is what he is, a Dr.! He earned his title!Why didn’t you think it’s just the other guy who’s being a child or just have a terrible, low self esteem problem? I know.. This has nothing to do with the case in question 🙂
LikeLike
Arab Observer, how come we didn’t hear from you about Gaza?
LikeLike
no way meen hadool foof??b3rafhom!!!
LikeLike
Marie, you always make me smile with your presence here on this blog :). Thank you.Anon1, weddings get cancelled for different reasons! A lot have to do with the parents! They should back off, yes!roseberry, I don’t know if you know them, ask wasson 😛
LikeLike
Observer… I second this “Arab Observer, how come we didn’t hear from you about Gaza?” … ANON 😛
LikeLike
Observer, what I said also applies to all PhD degree holders, they think they’re better than others because of their titles which is very very untrue. London, what makes really mad is my personal experience with some of those show-off people. There’s nothing wrong in demanding respect, I also prefer to be called a doctor at the work place, and it is also preferrable in public occasions as well, and I also used it in Jordan whenever I made reservations in restaurants so whoever is answering my call would take me seriously, however I have seen quite a few doctors demand some special treatment or really consider themselves better than others because of their degree. They really consider themselves the smartest wisest most classy people on the face of earth.
LikeLike
oh lord.. here we go.. this is ridiculous.. the fact that the couple didnt stand up to it means A) it was probably a marriage arranged by the families B) going to end in divorce anyways because the families always got in the way … or C) Jordanians cant be civil with one another .. ever.. im usually not this bitter so excuse the post..
LikeLike