Fadi Zaghmout

Since I like defending women rights, and since it does feel different when a woman talks about the injustice in her life rather than a man talking about it, I decided to present you with a cyber imaginary Jordanian girl that I will call Haya, and which will be shaping her characteristics based on the flow of ideas in my head and the questions and feedback she gets from you.

Haya is an ordinary Jordanian girl in her mid-twenties. She would be reflecting her dreams, fears and desires along with her interaction with society and her ideas and opinion of common affairs from a female perspective (as much as I possibly can).

Hi Haya, How are you?
Hi Observer, hi all, I am good, thank you

To introduce you to my blog readers, I have a question for you. In Paulo Coelho latest Novel “The Witch of Portobello”, one of witnesses claimed that women are usually belongs to one of 4 archetypes:

1. The Virgin: Not in the sexual sense. The virgin is the woman who prefers to do things by her own, fight her own battles and depend on herself for her needs.
2. The Martyr: is the woman who lives her life in pain, surrender and struggle.
3. The Saint: is the woman who lives for others. Her happiness is triggered from her unconditional love of people around her and the amount she can give for others.
4. The Witch: is the woman who is always after pleasures.

In which type of those you find yourself belong to?

Haya:
Being a Jordanian unmarried woman, I am technically a virgin in the sexual sense of the word, while in reality I am kind of a bitch witch. I constantly run after physical pleasures in life. Unfortunately I can’t always fulfill my desires the way I want to because of social constraints especially my sexual needs, but you know what, it isn’t a big deal, I have learnt not to think much about it, or even to express it in public. People don’t usually acknowledge women sexuality in this part of the world, and if I ever hinted about it, women stares at me in disgust playing their self righteous card while men start harassing me bluntly telling themselves that I am a bitch that is ready to go into bed with any disgusting one of them.

I carry a good amount of love to people around me, but I have never really been a saint. I hate saints. I don’t believe they exist anyway. People who give that much in order to be labeled as Saints usually tend to make the biggest crime against themselves. I believe that one has an obligation towards himself before looking out for others. Sainthood in religion requires suppression of physical desires. That is not me! I can’t even commit to a diet plan! Thank God I have this super physic, it is a gift! That is what I like to think of it, although most of the time it can be a curse. I can’t really walk down the streets of Amman without being sexually harassed by several men! I have to think carefully of what to wear according to the place I am heading to. I love wearing shorts, I feel my legs sexy, but I can’t do that except at the swimming pool and home.

Thinking of Martyr, I have never been one, although I feel people prefer to put me in that corner. They prefer a woman to be a martyr even more than they prefer her to be a virgin. She can be a virgin till she gets a man, and then she becomes a martyr: a martyr to her love for him, a martyr to her children and a martyr to society. I have seen it everywhere. Women grieve in silence! I have met women who have endured pain more than any man I knew. They struggle and they fight, and they stay miserable till they die for the sake of doing the right thing for people around them. I would never be a martyr, I have been rebellious since my childhood. I think it is a male treat, but I acquired it through my father. We were close in my childhood. He wanted a baby boy, and thus when I came, he treated me like one.

I have said too much today! Hope you got a brief idea about me.

You guys can ask me any questions you feel like to and I would gladly answer them soon.

PS: No, I don’t sleep with The Observer