Meet Haya: My imaginary blog friend

Since I like defending women rights, and since it does feel different when a woman talks about the injustice in her life rather than a man talking about it, I decided to present you with a cyber imaginary Jordanian girl that I will call Haya, and which will be shaping her characteristics based on the flow of ideas in my head and the questions and feedback she gets from you.

Haya is an ordinary Jordanian girl in her mid-twenties. She would be reflecting her dreams, fears and desires along with her interaction with society and her ideas and opinion of common affairs from a female perspective (as much as I possibly can).

Hi Haya, How are you?
Hi Observer, hi all, I am good, thank you

To introduce you to my blog readers, I have a question for you. In Paulo Coelho latest Novel “The Witch of Portobello”, one of witnesses claimed that women are usually belongs to one of 4 archetypes:

1. The Virgin: Not in the sexual sense. The virgin is the woman who prefers to do things by her own, fight her own battles and depend on herself for her needs.
2. The Martyr: is the woman who lives her life in pain, surrender and struggle.
3. The Saint: is the woman who lives for others. Her happiness is triggered from her unconditional love of people around her and the amount she can give for others.
4. The Witch: is the woman who is always after pleasures.

In which type of those you find yourself belong to?

Being a Jordanian unmarried woman, I am technically a virgin in the sexual sense of the word, while in reality I am kind of a bitch witch. I constantly run after physical pleasures in life. Unfortunately I can’t always fulfill my desires the way I want to because of social constraints especially my sexual needs, but you know what, it isn’t a big deal, I have learnt not to think much about it, or even to express it in public. People don’t usually acknowledge women sexuality in this part of the world, and if I ever hinted about it, women stares at me in disgust playing their self righteous card while men start harassing me bluntly telling themselves that I am a bitch that is ready to go into bed with any disgusting one of them.

I carry a good amount of love to people around me, but I have never really been a saint. I hate saints. I don’t believe they exist anyway. People who give that much in order to be labeled as Saints usually tend to make the biggest crime against themselves. I believe that one has an obligation towards himself before looking out for others. Sainthood in religion requires suppression of physical desires. That is not me! I can’t even commit to a diet plan! Thank God I have this super physic, it is a gift! That is what I like to think of it, although most of the time it can be a curse. I can’t really walk down the streets of Amman without being sexually harassed by several men! I have to think carefully of what to wear according to the place I am heading to. I love wearing shorts, I feel my legs sexy, but I can’t do that except at the swimming pool and home.

Thinking of Martyr, I have never been one, although I feel people prefer to put me in that corner. They prefer a woman to be a martyr even more than they prefer her to be a virgin. She can be a virgin till she gets a man, and then she becomes a martyr: a martyr to her love for him, a martyr to her children and a martyr to society. I have seen it everywhere. Women grieve in silence! I have met women who have endured pain more than any man I knew. They struggle and they fight, and they stay miserable till they die for the sake of doing the right thing for people around them. I would never be a martyr, I have been rebellious since my childhood. I think it is a male treat, but I acquired it through my father. We were close in my childhood. He wanted a baby boy, and thus when I came, he treated me like one.

I have said too much today! Hope you got a brief idea about me.

You guys can ask me any questions you feel like to and I would gladly answer them soon.

PS: No, I don’t sleep with The Observer


  1. Hey observer,I’ve been reading your blog for a while now 🙂 (after the link from Paulo’s blog) and i’m enjoying it very much. You write beautifully 🙂 This is a very interestingly put topic. It is true that many woman are suppressed in those areas, and are not able to explore themselves adequately- especially with regard to their sexuality, due their social and cultural constraints. Oh and i’m glad your not sleeping with your imaginary character.. Lol.. Love Yajnaps. I particularly loved reading about your mother 🙂


  2. As usual..You are as creative as ever.. Its a pleasure reading Haya.. who reminds me much of myself and others of my girlfriends..Very true indeed,and I dont know where to start asking.. I am afraid my questions would turn to essay writing instead 😀


  3. Super …. I like it a lot … perfectly done, Observer, seems like hata knows how to express herself more than most of the local girls … i wonder why 🙂


  4. Yajna, thank you. I am so glad to hear you find my writings beautiful. I just adore Paulo. I have just popped on my pc after reading a couple of page of The Witch of Portobello, and you know what? I feel being in a trance. I feel your love and would like to give much back to you as well. I read your comment about Breaking your glass and fly post and replied to you there. It is good to hear that you loved reading about my mother as well.Have a nice day… cheers..Life, Haya says hi :), she says that you don’t have to worry, just ask and she would try her best to be as honest as she can be. She feels the female bonding, and cheers you for that 🙂Bashar, thanks of the super words :), I wasn’t sure how you guys would think about such idea, now I am relieved and encouraged to bring her up more often 🙂And yes, she is quite more blunt than local girls. I think she would cross some boundaries in the future. (she winks at you) 🙂


  5. WOW, I love the idea:)I have some questions to Haya:-what do you do for living?-why did you choose your career?-do you have a boyfriend, how is your relationship?-what are your dreams?-have you ever considered leaving the country, why yes? Why not?-what do you think of marriage?


  6. wow dude. I think this is so convincing. you know what? you can expand your choices and find a lesbian wife or a gay husband. Oh wait..why am I judging? I am not the woman here. I’ll step back and see what the other women thinkP.S: I hope you are not implying that anyone who wants to sleep with Haya should sleep with you…:P


  7. Natasha, I am glad you loved the idea. Haya says hi, she will answer your questions very soon 🙂Hamza, Haya isn’t lesbian! Where did you get the last line from??!! :S No I am not implying that anyone sleeping with Haya to sleep with me! :S :S :SAsoom, Gemini, you? 🙂Haitham, thank you 🙂


  8. well thought … bas make the language more casual … she’s is not the arab observerette for heavens sake 🙂bravo … very creative


  9. Nice on Fadi, although Haya came off as a rather formidable stereotype! Bas kudos on your creativity; try to make her more unique in future blogs!


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