It is saddening me
It hurts me like it has always does
It hurts me to see you struggling with your pain
It hurts me to see you struggling with your wounds
Those wounds that are getting bigger every day
and more painful every minute
Like any other helpless son
Watching his mother struggling with her pain for ages
On TV, radio stations and newspapers
In School, history, and current affairs books
I created a self-protection mechanism
I closed my eyes
I closed my eyes and my ears
I closed my whole senses
I wanted to feel numb
Thinking that if I don’t feel your pain
It would fade away
Knowing that if I can’t heal your pain
I should live with it
Convincing myself that a mother’s happiness
Is built on her children’s happiness
And so
Whenever I heard your scream, I became deaf
Whenever I saw your blood, I became blind
I felt selfish
Trying to live my life while my mother and brothers are struggling
Trying to live the life you sacrificed to grant me
You sacrificed when you let me go
When you let me go along with half of your children
You gave us to adoption in order to live
You wanted to protect us from your pain
Your pain that surrounded my lefted brothers
My brothers who were born in pain
Your pain
My brothers who were born in a culture of honor and pride
Your disgraced honor
and Your destroyed pride
My brothers who as kids, were asked to be soldiers
Soldiers who fight tanks with stones
Soldiers who were fed up with pain, anger and hatred
They believed that revenge would only save your pain
They didn’t know that their suffering is what causes you more pain
They didn’t know that their wounds are your wounds
They didn’t know that a child’s tear is worse on a mother than her own rape
They believed that death and destruction is their way to free you
They became blind
Blind with hatred and power plays
They wanted to dominate each other
And claim the honor of your defense
Those men in teenage hormones and brains
Instead of healing your pain
They inflict more
By fighting each other
By killing each other
By stapping you in your heart
The heart that is only still going by the hope of a better life for your kids
Mother
I haven’t ever met you
I haven’t even fed up your milk
But I have been injected with your love
I appreciate your sacrifice
and I feel your love
I imagine your youth
I imagine your health
I imagine you smile
I wish I can see you again in your wedding dress
I wish I can see you putting make-up
and walking in a high heel
I wish I can see you living
Like any other modern mother
Mother,
I apologize
I apologize for our ignorance
I apologize in the name of my brothers
Trying to take revenge
We ended up hurting you the most
Killing each other is the last nail in your coffin
I scream here to wake them up
I scream here with an attempt to do something
To do something to save you
At least from dying by your son’s hands
I scream in dispair
for my brothers to hear me
STOP IT
STOP IT Brothers
Fadi Zaghmout فادي زغموت 
Thank you Fadi. I haven’t felt like this in a long time.
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Its a shame to see Fath and Hamas killing each other like that. indeed “Killing each other is the last nail in your coffin” 😦
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touchy words Fadi. but i wish that it couldn’t be just a dream.. the fact is so far from what we(peaceful) ppl r looking for. i hope that they can hear you someday..
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Kj, you are welcome man. I try usually not to think about it! But it is saddening what is going on!Hamza, yeah, it is a big shame! and stupidity! It really makes me angry!a-mok, wish they can, wish they can!
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FadiTouchy Words…and it’s a strong reminder to see, hear and feel it’s pain
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and what hurts even more is that people like me and you who are living outside can’t do a thing about it , we can’t stop all the madness and power driven people who are trying to split Palestine apart , all we do is sit , watch and cry for what’s going on , and just hope that someday they’ll understand the consciences of what they’re doing .am trying to distance my self from what’s happening , am trying to act like I don’t care , but I just can’t , when I read a post like this one I get all those mixed feelings of anger , sadness , confusion and hate .
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Dandoosh, Ma7joob, I am glad I was able to touch you with this post. It isn’t a nice feeling to feel your obligation about doing something while still feel helpless about it. Maybe writing can help a bit…
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ouch, you said it alli add my voice to yours and say STOP…whats defferent this year about whats happeneing in palestine is, its eating us in silence, which is causing a big lump in the throat that is hard to swallow right now…this is our feelings, the palestinians over board, i wonder whats in the mind of the ones in Plaestine if they are still saneGod please be next to them
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