Fadi Zaghmout

Alike Abed Hamdan’s conversation with death yesterday on his blog. I had one with God. Read…

Screaming in despair, his voice filled the entire universe, still no one can hear his pain. It is a holy fear of existence that eternally committed to join him since the very first day of his awarness. When did it happen first? He does know, he is limitless. No boundaries what so ever, he can set up a starting point of time, he can go much further beyond that, he created time, it is all at his disposal.

In a tiny spot, in a dark room of a small house that exists at one of the unlimited planets in the universe. The Observer lies in his bed, trying to breath hard after a panic attack he got of his fear of death. “Please help me lord” he screamed in despair. “You must exist, I need you”. Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale, he opened his eyes trying to escape his fears. He looked around, quite relieved that he is still alive. Feeling the intimacy of the familiarity of things around him, his bed, pillow, desk, mirror, closet, and clothes scattered everywhere, he felt more relaxed, looking towards the ray of lights that are coming through the window, he felt some appreciation, then whispered “Thank you”.

Looking around the walls of his bedroom, he started praying for a miracle, a proof. He closed his eyes, and pleaded “Please God, show me anything, just anything to make me believe.”. Frightened, He opened his eyes expecting to see something, maybe an angel, a sign, anything to ease his fear. Unfortunatly, or may it be fortunatly nothing happened. He may have passed out if something just appeared in front of him just like that. Maybe it is better to believe without seeing as the bible says, but He can’t just do that.

Pushing himself to face his fears, he closed his eyes again and sinked deep into his own universe. He couldnt tell from where but a deep sound reached him. He heard a question “Why do you need me?” “Because I want to feel safe. I know that with no time, I will die. It scares me, I dont want to disappear in void, and I dont want to keep my existance for ever. I want you to take care of me my Lord” The Observer said.

Let me tell you something Observer, the voice became clearer. I do understand your fear and your needs. You have to know that you are dying every second. As time go on, you change. You are not the same person you were last year, last month, last day or even last second. So no need to fear death. I live it myself. I am everything in this world. You are a part of me. Death is a part of me. Change is a part of me. You feel a subset of what I feel. I am all.

The voice continued in a calm tone, look at yourself, when do you feel yourself alive? he asked.

The Observer got caught up with the question, and couldnt find a good answer.

It is what you create, what you bring to life is what you live for.

Look at me God said. What keeps me alive is my creation. I live for you, for my universe. For what I did, and what I do, and what I will do.

The Observer stopped in silence for a moment, then said “Thank you God, I now know why I am here. You want me to create things. To work, and make a change in this world. I am a picture of you, and will follow your path to feel my life, and live it fully.