Fadi Zaghmout

Responses

1. 

   Arima

   June 20, 2008

   This is such an interesting post and great breakdown on how one thing leads to anohter- it’s also amazing how honest you are. I wonder how many are out there who have the same experience but never admit.It’s great that you still respect her after all this as well

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2. 

   Moon

   June 20, 2008

   Honestly, I thought this is a porno story or something like that,,,I don’t get the point, are you trying to say that you are liberal ?

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3. 

   Devil's Mind

   June 20, 2008

   I m not so much a fan of stories, but this was a good visualization of liberated relationships…I am an advocate of eliminating the double standards in same sex, and opposite sex relationships. But it seems that that guy failed in that aspect due to being conditioned to have double standards from his experiences in his environment.

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4. 

   whatever

   June 21, 2008

   What double standards Devil’ mind?

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5. 

   Bashar

   June 21, 2008

   هلا ضار أخو هيا!!!! مش مهم القصة حلوة وتعكس الواقع

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6. 

   Devil's Mind

   June 21, 2008

   That double standard of how actions and reactions are interconnected, and how their consequences follow.Thats to say, if a guy friend behaves in a certain manner, the person reacts one way, and if a girl friend behaves in that same manner, the person reacts in a different way.Thats a double standard!

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7. 

   whatever

   June 21, 2008

   No… these are not double standards… if a guy fell on the couch he would not have fallen over him and kissed him… the situation is completely different… and that is not called double standards… that is called different circumstances.

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8. 

   Devil's Mind

   June 21, 2008

   I understand the uniqueness of circumstances… But let me give you a better example -from The Observer’s story-, the guy says: Her visits indicated that she was liberated. See the shallowness?! A visit indicates that a person is liberal?! Would a guy visiting another guy make you think he is liberal?! Thats a double standard!! A person being pro gay might indicate a liberal, supporting feminism might indicate a liberal, but visiting a person at his place?! Thats the first time I hear its an indication of a liberal!Thats just one double standard in the story!

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9. 

   XZeeR

   June 21, 2008

   well i might aswell through it if everyone trying to be ” classy ” , screw u and ur liberated minds..take care

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10. 

    The Observer

    June 21, 2008

    Arima, I am glad you find it interesting. I am not being honest here as it is somehow fictional story that I made up and meant to reflect what really happens.Moon, have you ever watched porn before? This is far from it. My point is to reflect reality.DM, I don’t think that the guy is applying double standard here. It still no very accepted for a woman to visit her male friend at his house in our society. When a woman does so regardless what others may say about it, she is partially liberated in my opinion, isn’t she?Besides, the guy in the story has nothing to do with my stand about gays. Although consider a woman liberated and having a stand for homosexuality is totally two different things.bashar, hehehe, ah akho haya :P, and yes it does reflect reality.xzeer, what is ur problem?

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11. 

    Devil's Mind

    June 21, 2008

    As I said earlier, there is a conditioning by our environment to have double standards. Friends visit their friends, thats the most natural thing to do! What kind of friend would not visit his friend?! So why is she being praised for something that she should be doing anyways?!So as you can see, something that is a given in any normal relationship is now being considered an “extra”!!<>“It still no very accepted for a woman to visit her male friend at his house in our society.”<> – Thats exactly my point. The guy is using the society standards to grade his personal relationships. So he is borrowing the double standard… Not diminishing it!

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12. 

    whatever

    June 21, 2008

    DM>>Are you serious??!You have to have a point of reference, this guy’s point of reference is, very understandably, is the society he lives in… Drinking is considered liberal in Jordan, not in France.Supporting gay rights and feminist movements is considered liberal in Jordan or the US, not the Netherlands. Going to Church every sunday is considered fanatic in France, not in Romania. Visiting a guy at his place by a female is considered liberal in Jordan, not France. This is not double standards, this is simply a guy judging things for what they are… and using a very sound system of labeling things as liberal or not, which is his society.

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13. 

    Devil's Mind

    June 21, 2008

    Well, I am serious.Maybe the reference might change from one place to another. But the double standard is that there are two references, one for the girls, another for the boys… Besides, who said that society is a good reference!! Is it just because it is acceptable that a man kills his daughter in Jordan, that killing your daughter is fine?!Society is a bad reference, and an intelligent person would have his own reference. Thats individualism for you!And I personally choose that visiting your friend is a minimum thing that you would do in a friendship. And that for both guy friends and girl friends. It just don’t work for me to have a distant friend, that visiting them would be a big deal!For God’s sake, I visit my friends almost daily. We even sometimes eat together, clean the house together, and sometimes cook together. And then, all of a sudden, I get a friend with whome a visit is too much to ask?! This does not compute!!

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14. 

    The Observer

    June 22, 2008

    DM, sadly this is the situation! While it is the least a friend can do is visiting another friend, opposite sex friendship still has limitations in our society. A girl crossing those boundaries is considered liberal, not say that it is an advantage or making a double standard judgement, but that is what she is when she crosses the lines that are set by the society she is in. A man can’t be considerd liberal by visiting his male friend in Jordan! It is just how things are in our society.

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15. 

    whatever

    June 22, 2008

    DM<> and i thought i live in a bubble….baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

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16. 

    Devil's Mind

    June 22, 2008

    If that is so Observer, at least we can admit to ourselves that that is in fact a double standard, instead of denying the obvious!

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17. 

    Devil's Mind

    June 22, 2008

    whatever, a university doctor once told us: “Weak people are influenced by their society, great people influence their society” – I suggest you consider taking a break at some times, and think of what you believe in. Thats what I do! Don’t be lead, be a leader!

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18. 

    The Observer

    June 22, 2008

    DM, I don’t think that anyone denied the double standard of society towards both sexes.

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19. 

    Devil's Mind

    June 22, 2008

    Yes, but the point is that this double standard has extended to the personal life of people (like the guy in the story)! Yes, society might have double standards, but this does not mean we should embrace those double standards in our personal lives. Thats my point!

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20. 

    The Observer

    June 23, 2008

    DM, it is kind of a tricky argument here. I realize what you are saying, but still the guy can’t describe such woman away of the social boundaries, but yet giving his own opinion. I think adding the liberal label in the story is good, because it does give an indication to the status and expected behaviour of women in our society which is kind of my aim in writing this post.

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21. 

    alice1988

    July 3, 2008

    I am an advocate of eliminating the double standards in same sex, and opposite sex relationships. ********************************shanmarshSocial Media Marketing – 868548704.99088< HREF="http://www.widecircles.com" REL="nofollow">widecircles<>

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