LATEST RELEASE – Order The Man of Middling Height by Syracuse University Press

Fadi Zaghmout

The Jordanian Spinster Act 1 – Scene 1

ACT 1

INT Room 7pm

SALMA in her pajamas is sitting on her bed typing on her laptop. She is posting on her blog ‘The Jordanian Spinster’.

SALMA
‘Does not having children hurt me that bad because it is natural for me as woman to feel so, or is it because people expect me to do so?’

SALMA pauses for a moment and looks at her little nephew’s picture next to her bed.

SALMA whispers
would I ever hear someone calling me mama?

She looks back at her laptop screen, erases what she wrote then types

SALMA
‘Whom should I blame for letting me build my focal point of life around a man that never arrived?’

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. SALMA tries to hide her screen

SALMA
Come in

MOTHER
hey dear, I want to talk to you about something, May I?

SALMA impatiently
What is it about?

MOTHER
I know that you hate this subject but we have to talk

SALMA
offft, again?!!

MOTHER
you are approaching 35 and you still single. I am really worried on you

SALMA groans

SALMA
Haven’t we talked about this millions of times before? You would never give up, would you?

MOTHER
I would only give up when I see you married

SALMA
Yeeeey, like it is up to me

MOTHER
Ofcourse it is up to you, if you just lower your expectations

SALMA
Expectations?? like I am having 100 proposals at our door.

MOTHER
You did have few before

SALMA
Last one I remember was something like 10 years ago! You wanted me to consider him regardless of his awful smell, remember?

MOTHER
You could have worked on his hygiene!

SALMA shaking in anger
OMG, can we just drop this?!

MOTHER
No, listen to me, you have just another chance now. Don’t blow it

SALMA with no reaction on her face looks at her mother as she moved closer to her and started telling her about the groom

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Responses

  1. Arima Avatar
    Arima

    Nice start…but you left it just when it was geting interesting -a cliff hanger I guess- I can’t wait for the rest of it though!

    Like

  2. The Observer Avatar
    The Observer

    Thanks Arima, it would take a while to post it all. I dont want to post very long posts so that readers dont get bored 🙂I will post more tmr

    Like

  3. Princess N Avatar
    Princess N

    very nice and very interesting, but i hope you will continue not like some blogs where they kept us hanging and never finished it..

    Like

  4. Waed S. Avatar
    Waed S.

    It was getting really wormed up w expecting stuff b3den , scroll down , ma fe down 😦continue bsor3a ! this is an order ! LOL!

    Like

  5. Qwaider قويدر Avatar
    Qwaider قويدر

    Oh cool, she’s getting a 3arees 🙂I told Shareef about her, and she appears to be his type! let see if they can hook up!! 🙂

    Like

  6. Dana Avatar
    Dana

    Hi Fadi,I just realized that i was present on Friday when you read you short script to the group.I have to say you have a very powerful theme.

    Like

  7. The Observer Avatar
    The Observer

    lost within, hehehe, i ll continue now right after replying to your comments 🙂qwaider, ahlan o sahlan feek o fe sherif 🙂dana, you were there? I guess it was saturday not friday, right? thank you 🙂

    Like

  8. Amin Matalqa Avatar
    Amin Matalqa

    Nice start, but think about a way to make this scene more interesting. Imagine if you’re watching this scene and it’s someone else’s movie. What’s the problem with the scene? All the dialogue is on the nose. The mother comes in and immediately says what’s on her mind. Try to create some opportunity for subtext. Think about this. Wouldn’t the dialogue be more exciting if the mother came in and started talking about something else when the daughter knows what her mother is really talking about or where she’s going with it. This can create more substance in the scene without being on the nose. For example, the mother comes in with a gift. The daughter thinks it’s odd that her mother’s getting her a gift with no occasion. There’s something engaging right there. Now the daughter has something else on her mind, so she doesn’t want to open it. The mother asks her to open it. The daughter says later. We have some dramatic tension now. You continue from there. I couldn’t help but respond because I see you want to write. My biggest advice is to think of ways to engage the audience. If you’re immediately stating the problem this directly, then there’s no drama. There’s only a TV soap, and we need to get away from TV soap operas. Hope you find this stimulating and useful.

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  9. The Observer Avatar
    The Observer

    Amin :), thank you so much for the advice. Actually I wrote this script as part of the RFC ideation script writing workshop, and yes the tutor did mention exactly what you said, I just totally forgot about it, now that you mentioned it again and because I have to translate it to arabic and submit the final version, I will make sure to add it. Thank you again for visiting my blog and for giving me this advice 🙂

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  10. Amin Matalqa Avatar
    Amin Matalqa

    You’re welcome. You don’t have to use the gift idea, but just find a way for them to dance around the subject. It’s always more engaging for us as an audience to suspect that there’s a different motive below the surface for at least one of the characters.

    Like

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