** This post is not suitable for children
Double standard in dealing with male and female sexuality is practiced all over the world. Living in a male dominant world, women had to fight in order to get their sexuality acknowledged. While women in the west have achieved a kind of acknowledgment and respect to their own sexuality, women in the Arab world, and in Jordan in particular are still lagging behind.
Now that the news of women sexuality hit the media all over the world, where any half educated man can no longer deny it, people in the Arab world found themselves in a dilemma of how to deal with the new discovered truth. Being forced to stick to the set of traditional teachings and religious views, we came to acknowledge women sexuality but with restricting it to marriage.
With some social changes in the past few years, triggered by the evolution of telecommunication and media, Jordanian unmarried women found themselves in a situation where having a boyfriend is acceptable and in fact a must among their peers! Boyfriends, having no real restrictions on their sexuality by the eyes of society, do not accept having a girl friend without any extra sexual benefits. Being in a dilemma of how much to give is a major concern to every single girl in a relationship outside the marriage boundaries in order to keep her man. Virginity still a red line in Jordan where more and more women practice sex secretly while holding to the fig leaf of virginity that is like a visa stamp towards their journey to marriage.
While having sex with a partner is still no acceptable for women before marriage. Having sex with oneself is also a shame in the eyes of society. For men, it is not a problem. I started hearing about male masturbation since I was 10 years old. Men likes to share their new found secret habit with each other and inherit it to the next generation at school and streets. It is not a shame for a man at his teenage to masturbate, in the contrary; it is a shame for him not to.
For women, the situation is different. Both genders share the same need for sex. When a man goes a couple of days without sex, he becomes very horny where he has to get his loads out. If he didn’t do that with a partner, nor by himself, it comes out at night, in wet dreams. Women are not different. Their bodies as well, build a state for sex readiness. It also builds more fluids that need to take care of. They also become horny and in a need of taking care of. If they don’t do it with a partner because it isn’t accepted, they must do it by themselves.
Female masturbation is still shameful. Women, unlike men, don’t share their secret habit with each other. They don’t inherit this knowledge from the past generation. In the contrary, they inherit a lot of myths and shameful feelings about masturbation. Instead of acknowledging the scientific fact of the benefits of masturbation for women, they talk about lies of how unhealthy is it and how much damage it can cause!
Masturbation can help ease the tension of many women who can’t have sex with a partner. There is no need to feel guilt about it. There is no need to feel shame. It is a biological need that should be taken care of. Women might find comfort in knowing that others do it secretly.
Women who would like to comment and feel shy about it can do that under an anonymous id. Just admitting it can help others, so please comment.
Fadi Zaghmout 
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