Another Midnight Nature Call – Invention

* warning: This post may disgust you *

Once again, in the middle of my sacred sleep, nature called me. And, once again, I, first, tried to ignore those call, but to end up regretting it, and dragging myself to the toilet, doing what I had to do, and going back feeling good to continue my sleep.

I guess that most of the people would agree that having to wake up in the middle of the night in order to piss is an annoying thing. I am not sure if men deal with this issue more than women, but I am sure that it is annoying for both.

I have been watching my eating/drinking and behaviour habits that affects my kidneys to work faster and issue such effect in my sleep for years now. I have concluded that doing on of the following things during the night before going to sleep would make it more likely for it to happen:
1. Drinking a pint of beer.
2. Smoking Shisha.
3. Doing a hard physical work (cardio or weight lifting).
4. Masturbating.

One should avoid those 4 at night in order to have a good sleep.

But this isn’t the issue I wanted to talk about.

What I wanted to talk about is the brilliant idea popped into my mind last night while am half asleep.

Being the lazy man I am.

And because NEED is the mother of INVENTION.

I thought of a way to combine beds with toilets so that I would save myslef the midnight annoying pilgrimage to the toilet!

How?

By creating holes in beds. A hole closer to our lower part of the bed where a man who feels like in need to piss can just turn himself with his face facing the bed, lowering what ever he wears of pants and/or underwear, and then let it go through the hole that should be connected with a cylinder that is attached to a waste system.

I know that my invention sounds sexist because it is more applicable on men because men face more problems with this issue especially as they grow older. A lot of us would face a problem with their prostates which would keep us moving in and out of the towilet all over the night.

I have even drew it:

I know that engineer can work on it and enhance it!

It is funny how my mind becomes creative while I am half asleep! Lol

On a side note, what’s wrong with birds?

It was around 5:00 am in the morning, and they couldn’t stop wissing! Is it their procreation season?

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Responses

Qwaider قويدر

February 22, 2007

LOL!!!:) You actually said #4!! MY GOD!! There’s an invention that can ease your “pain” just use one of those external bags, and plug yourself in. Then sleep like a baby 🙂You may alternatively use an adult diaper and consider yourself an astronaut on a critical space walk

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Hatem Abunimeh

February 22, 2007

Very good idea although a light weight plastic 16-24 Oz jug placed on the night stand next to the bed would serve the purpose intended. It can be disposable or even rewashable. Your purported invention of Placing a bedpan underneathe the mattress would require intensive daily maintenance of cleaning, disinfecting, and deodorizing the bedpan as well as the surrounding areas.In addition, if the aim misses the orifice, then we are talking about a complete sanitization operation similar to the one we do for our kids when they have incidents of wetting their beds at night.I think that we need more information regarding the invention, notably answering the question of of how to transport, dispose, and disinfect the biohazardous waste.

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7aki Fadi

February 22, 2007

Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, but HA HA HA HA .hmmmm, will Jordan Blogs ban you now 😉

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Moey

February 22, 2007

amazing post, well I sometimes suffer from the same issue, I just ignore it and fart in bed and shit once I wake up, sometimes I use the toilet when I can’t hold it LOL

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average-mo

February 22, 2007

looooool , here’s another idea , you can move your bed to the bathroom .

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Devil's Mind

February 23, 2007

Drinking beer certainly induces an urge to piss; it happens even if u’r wide awake. But masturbation has nothing to do with pissing; I masturbate almost every night before sleeping (I use masturbation as sleeping inducer), and I very very rare feel like having to piss. Masturbation helps sleep with no negative side effects… At least thats in my own experience.

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saad

February 23, 2007

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAThis is the funniest post of yours yet! Hilarious. But don’t think it’s realistic though. I think (some) people may feel embarrassed after a while to have little holes in their beds…

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Anonymous

February 24, 2007

the whole idea is for the birds LOL. are you serious LOL oh my oh my oh my this is pure comedy!marie

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The Observer

February 25, 2007

Qwaider, :S, bags, or diapers?! I m not that desperate! Did I sound that much?hatem, :), you sound like an engineer. I dont want any plastic jugs next to bed :S, I want something like a cylinder attached to bed that does under ground and attached to the waste system like in the bathroom! Ofcourse I dont know how practical this can be. You are the expert 😛7aki fadi, :S, if they keep on banning people for singel words, then they eventually wont have any blog to aggregate! lolMoey, I am gald you like the post. :S, I wasnt talking about shitting, I was talking about pissing. I can handle shitting urges till morning comes!Average-moh, good idea! lol. Maybe I can do that later on when I grow up and my march to the bathroom at night becomes more frequent. Devil’s mind, I don’t know man if this is just me, but I have observed myself. When I masturbate before I go to bed, I definatly feel like pissing in the mid of the night. I usually feel like pissing even directly after doing it. I dont know its scientific explanation. Maybe some sperms stay in the canal where the body feels like pissing in order to clear it off, or it triggers that prostate to work differently. I dont know.Saad, heeheh, I am glad you like the post. I wont feel embarrassed if I have this hole in my bed! Do we feel embarrassed for having toilets in the first place? We shouldn’t be ashamed of our natural needs 😛Marie, 🙂

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7aki Fadi

February 25, 2007

Thanks for voting forthe greatest Jordanain http://7aki-fadi.blogspot.com/2007/02/nominate-best-five-jordanians.html

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The Observer

February 25, 2007

You are welcomed 🙂

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Fadi Zaghmout