There is a severe problem in relationships in Amman. I am talking about pre-marital relationships for people between the ages 20-30.
At this point of time, women are getting in a delimma like never before. With the rapid changes happening in our society of going from a closed conservative society to a more and more open liberal one in less than 20 years time, it is becoming more harder for women to know what is accepted from their behaviour in this society.
Now with more and more women getting better education, going out to work, and achieving more in their careers, they are in more competitive situation like never before to get the right man in their side which is something essential in our society.
The delimma every woman in amman deals with is how to maintain an accepted moral social or religious values while at the same time deals with the flow of the advancement of our society.
One would say that moderization doesn’t have to contradict with our values, but that isn’t necessary true. For instance 20 years ago, women going out in the same car with another man even if he is just a friend wasn’t acceptable. Now, and eventhough you can still see some women worried of getting into other males friends car, you can see that it much more accepted than before.
I guess that it is even fair to say that current generation of university and school students find it odd for a girl not to have a boyfriend which was something forbidden a decade ago.
Unfortunatly the shadow of the old mentality is still dictating curent relationship. Now that people started accepting pre-marital relationships, women have still to decide the picture of such relationship. How much she is willing to give the man she loves might backfire on her. Giving too much might put her in a bad light, and holding back much would just put more strain to her relationship.
In the other hand, and while men’s mentality is changing, there is still a big portion of men who are ready to date many women for fun while end up marrying someone they barely know because they think that women who date are not good for marriage.
Bad men and women didn’t leave a room for the good ones to feel comfortable in their relationships. There are a good portion of open minded men who suffer from the holding back of the women they love, and their are many women who are suffering because they gave much in a previous relationship, there are also many women suffering in silence for their fear of the time passing without them being able to get married because they find it in appropriate to give more and so ending up invincible in a competitive society.
A complicated formula that each one has to play among his/her circle of people. I guess more trust in other people would give a small solution to this cumbersome problem.
Fadi Zaghmout 
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