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Page 7
He tried to date some other young women but never worked out for him. Even thought that he gained his youth, he lost any motivation to live. He has been there before, and knows what it is like to grow older. In his first experience of youth, it was a vague future in front of him. He wanted to build his own career, he wanted to build his own family, and he wanted to have children, to live wildly! But now, he had it all. He doesn’t feel like having the energy to go through it again.
He misses his old friends, those old lovely times. There is a gap of thinking between him and his fellow young people at his body age. While there is another gap of energy and life between him and his fellow old people at his mind age. He tried living with his son’s family for a while, but he felt obligated to keep on his disguise, he couldn’t take it off. He felt that it is what caused his wife’s death, so he couldn’t risk it with his son.
Life went on; most of his old friends have passed away, his relatives disappearing one after the other. Even his son, out of nowhere, all of a sudden, died with his entire family in a car accident. He felt like his body parts are dying one after the other. Holding on his memories, he started to create his own fantasizes and conversations. Having a family dinner, a birthday party for his son, Christmas time, family vacations,…etc. He lived it all again and again each day with different scenarios.
Thinking about his life, he looked at his birth, he didn’t choose it, but he loved it and lived with it. He looked at his parents, he didn’t choose them, and he loved them and lived with them. His wife, he chose her, at least that is what he thought, she died, and he didn’t want that. His son was a major part of his life; ironically he didn’t plan to have him. His friends came and go. Everything changes, even his body and his mind. Changes were slow and in small portions at the beginning, now he doesn’t know what to think anymore and doesn’t know how to act anymore. It is just scary.
He learnt that the only constant in his life is his own self. He doesn’t set the rules and he had no real choices in this life. Whether it is written fate of God, or a random luck of nature, he still has his inner space of imagination, where he can build his own realms in a much larger world much bigger than the physical one his body limited to. He closed his eyes, and sank into his own space; never opened back, but eternally felt peace with his love covering the space of his own world.
The End
Guys who followed the story, I would appreciate your feedback now. We can discuss the ideas of it as well. Thanks for all who had the patient to follow it up till the end.
Fadi Zaghmout 
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