LATEST RELEASE – Order The Man of Middling Height by Syracuse University Press

Fadi Zaghmout

Is there a ‘Real’ friend?

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.

Aristotle

I have been observing my relationships with my friends, and their relationship with each other, along with other people friendship relations for sometime now.

It seems that every kind of relationship has it ups and downs, and it is common to see two close friends seperated and even at times becoming enemies after years of good relation.

Usually there are two sides of the story, what we here the most is that the other party turned out not to be a ‘Real’ friend!

So what is the definition of a ‘Real’ friend? Is there really a ‘Real’ friend and ‘Unreal’ one? Shall we expect perfectness of those human beings who happened to be our friends? Why would we cut someone off just for a small mistakes he/she does?

I know that it is disappointing, especially when you have much faith in the person you believe is your friend, and do expect certain kind of behaviour in return, but we are humans. We do mistakes. We ought to learn how to forgive our friends the same way they do forgive us. We have to respect their duties towards themselves as much as we respect our own duties. And yes, why not accept some shortages? No one is perfect.

Let us move beyond examining our friends if they can be ‘Real’ ones, and actually trust them enough to make them a real friends for a lifetime.

Recent blog posts

Responses

  1. Saadna Avatar
    Saadna

    It’s funny I was thinking of this today whilst jogging. LOLErm, I think there are “real” friends – you just have to know who is who. Usually people end up hurting the ones who love them most and holding the ones who leave them lost.In my case, I found my soulmate of best friends 3 years ago…She’s in the US now (moved a year ago…) but we’re still tight-knit-close.

    Like

  2. Terry Crame Avatar
    Terry Crame

    Run a basic mental test. Say, you succeeded in something, yet a friend of yours stuffed something up. Will he/she (a) be happy for you and find an inspiration in your success, or (b) feel unhappy as your success make him/her look even worse? Be honest to yourself, and you know the truth. Unfortunately, very often people prefer to lie to themselves rather then admit they have less friends then they thought

    Like

  3. The Observer Avatar
    The Observer

    Saadna, I am glad you were able to jogg 🙂I don’t want to sound bad, but at some point something would happen between and your best friend. In life, there are many things that we can’t control, and maybe at somepoint she would disappoint you where you would say she hasn’t been a ‘real’ friend while she is.My point is that there isn’t ‘real’ vs ‘unrea’ friends. All people are the same, most cherish friendship, and most have some selfishness and other shortages. In order to keep a friend we shouldn’t think in this way of if he/she is ‘real’ or not. Let him be the friend, regardless of his shortages, we aren’t perfect as well, and we do mistakes. We have to forgive and trust to maintain a friendship relationship no matter who is at the other side of the relationship.

    Like

  4. The Observer Avatar
    The Observer

    Terry Crame, my point is that we don’t have to run any tests. All people have qualities and shortageous. If my friend at some point felt threatened of my success, it doesn’t have to make him any less of a friend. If I want to be a good friend to him, I may need to understand his insecurity and the reason he reacted in certain way. Usually friends do get happy for the success of each other, and do give support and love as much as they can, but we tend to put high expectations to the ones we consider to be our close friends. At some point they disappoint us, but it doesnt mean that they were not ‘real’ friends. Understand what I mean?

    Like

  5. laylow Avatar
    laylow

    hay arab frnds are a simple and tricky thing in the same time …u need to know that ur frnd is humman as much as you r.and ppl do mistakes all the time , and i guess to have he perfect frnd will not be a good thing ,( and define a good frnd)…??if there is no up and downs u wont know him very well to appreciiate him/her more.but ppl chang as well, there mentality changes as well , a frnd u know from 10 years is not the same as now… thats a somthing i had to face receintly.but then a true good frnd is wourthless , u can put a price for that.thanks

    Like

  6. The Observer Avatar
    The Observer

    laylow, you are right, people do mistakes, and even friends. I thought you are agreeing with me that there is not ‘real’ vs ‘unreal’ friend untill I read your last line saying a ‘true good friend is worthless’. It sounds like a good friend is something to search for, not something to build and maintain. Know what I mean?

    Like

  7. dena Avatar
    dena

    What’s the biggest disappointment you ever had from someone you thought was a friend???Mine was spending 1 year knowing some one, he was the first one I trust, the one I told everything to, he was the first one I told that I love some one, he was the first person in every way… he was my best friend who never failed to cheer me up when times were tough.. I even couldn’t be upset of him when he did any mistake…..He promised to always be there and then he wasn’t!!Am not blaming myself or even feel guilty about that, coz deeply inside I know I wasn’t wrong….My trust in friendship will NEVER be broken… coz am having a lot of friends and I even if some of them is like him, as long as i have 1 true friend i will be alright….

    Like

Do you have something to say?