Freud hit me again last night. I was thinking of 3 different issues in the past couple of
days related to my study and work. One is about Death and Utopia, the second is about the transition from the big storyline to the sub Utopian storyline in the novel I am working on now, and the last is the two pages creative work I have to submit to my psychoanalysis class next Friday.
Before I went to bed, I had no clue, my conscious was blank, with no idea of what I am going to do with these 3 matters. I guess, the level of tension in my unconscious was high. It seized the chance of the night, the absentee of the ego. It woke me up, as if the little gene in the back of my head had all of the solution and wanted to spell it out. I wasn’t aware of that, and with a soar throat and tiresome, all I wanted was to sleep again. But the little gene whispered his wisdom in my ears, the solution for all the three:
1. Death and Utopia:
My dilemma here is the notion that death defines life as Satre put it, and thus eliminating death would render life meaningless. In my book, I am working on a Utopian world where death becomes obsolete after science find a solution for ageing, and I was thinking, would that really mean a meaningless world?
The gene stepped up, and point it out that what does it matter if one’s life is meaningless? Isn’t it more important to live happily than living a meaningful life? In nature, there is a specie of immortal jellyfish that has no conscious to render a meaning to its own life. It lives in peace.
Beside that, if darkness is what gives meaning to life, then death is not the only darkness we have in this life. There is an infinite amount of darkness as there is an infinite amount of light. Eliminating death, would not eliminate all the darkness in life. Humanity would soon evolve to fight other kinds of darkness, and maintain the value and meaning of life.
2. Jannah’s sub Utopian world:
Yesterday I reached a focal point in writing “Jannah”, a point where I am ready to start describing the futuristic Utopian world when death no longer exists. I was confused of how to start this sub story, but the gene had it all simple. He even spilled out the first paragraph in my ears and showed me the way to approach it.
3. Psychoanalysis two pages work:
I am still confused if this post can be the submitted material. For the gene, it is. The notion of his own existence goes inline with the haunted nature of writing. I felt haunted yesterday. I was writing in my sleep. Actually I wasn’t really asleep. I guess I was in a middle state. But the gene was awake, clear, and real. The feeling of his presence while writing is usually 10% of what I felt of his presence yesterday in the middle of the night. Maybe it has to do with the vigilance of the ego.
This isn’t a one of a kind experience that I just witnessed yesterday. It happens quite often. It hit me how the most clear and brilliant ideas come out in that time of the middle of the night. Freud made the gene existence clearer to me. For that, I am thankful!
Fadi Zaghmout 
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