Tag / Haya

by Fadi Zaghmout

Damn me! demanding my child right for my citizenship!


Oh damn me!

How selfish am I asking for the right to pass my citizenship to my husband and children.

Is it selfishness? or is it insanity?

Insane enough to ask for an equal status with Man
Insane enough to think that the half genetic code that I pass to my kids are not that inferior to the second half provided by my husband

After all, he is the MAN!

His genes comes through his sperm, that comes out of his phallus!

That damn phallus!

Mine are hidden in my vagina, nearly as invisible as myself

Invisible genetic code vs a phallic genetic code, that explains it all, no?
It has all been set from long time ago; children carry the name of their fathers.
That is what religion tells us, what God wants, what our traditions entails, and what our habits are accustomed to.

Simple and easy.

and in a modern, civil country, where a citizen is suppose to be a ‘citizen’, old habits get translated into laws
So yes, the invisibility of my genetic code is naturally transferred into the penal code.. of my country
Children who used to carry the name of their fathers, can only carry the citizenship of their fathers as well

Simple and easy.

Why change that? for women are not really full citizens. You know?

They don’t really pay the same amount of taxes, do they?
They don’t really work as hard as men, do they?
They are less smart, less educated, and less worthy, aren’t they?
and guess what? They get pregnant! and become burdon to their employers and society.
but hey, once they pop their child out, it is no longer theirs

Well, how could it be when the woman herself becomes a property for her husband? when she, herself, abandons her family and claims his family name?
Sorry, forgot that this usually happens ‘out of love’
He loves her too, don’t get me wrong, but a Man’s love is different too.. it comes with privileges..
such as ‘a citizen can be different than another citizen’ (based on sex, country of origin, religion, race, color, sexual orientation, etc)
of course there will always be pigs who are more equal than other pigs.. this is life.. deal with it

and damn me

I opened the pandora box.. and whispered ‘Equality’

woooooww! hold on! Equality? me and Man? is it even possible?

Equality that risks to destroy the ‘Jordanian Identity’?
Equality that risks to destroy the ‘Palestinians Identity’?
Equality that would pull all of the Palestinians and destroy any hope for a Palestinian future (as if that is happening tomorrow).
Equality that would kill Jordan and turn it into a substitute land!

This is what Israel wants, isn’t it? what the devil wants? what the immoral civil world wants? Equality!

I know, I am just being selfish. I am just looking at my own selfish gain without looking at the broader picture and the best for my country.
My country? Can I even say that? while being a woman?
The best for the country is what is best for its men. Remember, I am invisible?

So Jordanian men can marry Palestinian women all they want. They can marry up to 4! They can pull them all out of Palestine, grant them their citizenship and get as many children out of them who would only be Jordanians.

That wouldn’t affect the Palestinian cause… neither the Jordanian identity!
You know, Israel is like us, they don’t count women. Even the UN, they don’t really count women, do they?
They don’t even acknowledge the linkage between a child and a mother..

Remember? Mother genetic code is invisible..

Maybe I am just choosing the wrong time? you know ‘the global conspiracy’ that is after us? I am just a tool, I know it!

It has always been.. my rights are equal to human disasters! alien invasions! armageddons!

That what happens when I step up.. when I stop being that invisible!

Isn’t it?

Sincerely,

Haya

by Fadi Zaghmout

Haya: Hey Judge, give me some of my rights!


So.. the observer is back
and I am back too! (Haya :P)
woohooooooo!
missed me?
I am sure you did!
or maybe not?
I mean, if you are a new reader of this blog, you have probably never heard about me before
I don’t blame you!
well, to be honest, you are most probably a new reader.. this blog lost most of its readers on its two years time down and the migration to wordpress..

So, let me introduce myself
I am Haya.. duh!
A fictional character that the observer uses when he wants to talk about women issues from a woman’s perspective
Simply put, he uses me!
or it is the other way around, I use him to speak out about my gender issues
oh boy… they are MANY!
and nothing really changed in the past two years!
Continue reading →

by Fadi Zaghmout

Haya’s 30 years bday resolution regarding men.. and women


I thought that 30 years old would be the number where people would stop/shy of asking me questions about when am I going to get married. I was wrong. I now know that people have no shame… no shame at all.

When I am talking about people here, I am mostly referring to other women, those who call themselves friends and seize every little chance to ask me: “Haya, nothing yet happened with you?” “dear, you are 30 now, you have to work harder?” “Haya, you need to change, you are too serious, men don’t like that!”

What the heck! Suddenly, every woman who have a ring in her hand, becomes a relationships expert! The ugliest one from school who married her own cousin, the self-centered one who was madly in love with her boyfriend for 10 years only to leave him for the first wealthy groom who knocked her door, the unconfident, self-pity, woman who drove me crazy because of her fear of never getting married and seized up the only chance she got, and the woman who is nearly my age who only got married 2 months ago and now behaves like she is the queen of the world. All experts now! heh!

But hey, I am Haya. Haya who knows exactly how to strike back; women can ever be good enough, right? I know where to hit. “Aren’t you pregnant yet?” I hit the one with no children yet. “when are you plannin on getting the boy” for the one with a girl child. “only one boy? you need to get him a brother” for those bitches with a son! I always manage to find a way to hit on their nerves.

Honetly, like every other woman, I dream of my wedding day, I dream of finding the right man who would love and cherish me for the rest of my life. That is hard to find these days due to different cultural and personal reasons that sometimes make no sense to me.

Anyway, recently I came up with some realizations that would help me increase my chances of finding the right man, I will do the following:

1. Drop my fear package: Throughout the years, I built this shield of not trusting men. Men have proved to me to be assholes over and over again, and thus, I have always let this barrier of mistrust to eat out from any potential relationship in the horizon and eventually killing it. If I am going to love someone, then I am going to love him fully – with no fears

2. Hit the gym: No matter how much we try to trick ourselves in believing that men do really appreciate our minds, it is always our bodies who they appreciate first! I will take a loan and subscribe at VY. There are many wealthy bachelors out there for me to target.

3. Read the book “why men marry bitches”: It has always amazed me how those women who treated their boyfriends like garbage managed to get them to the alter! Me, being the nice girl, never managed to keep a man for more than 3 months!

4. Social butterfly: The more poeple I meet, the better chance of me meeting the right guy. Whether it is a wedding ceremony, a birthday party, or a cultural event, I will make sure to always be there. That is offline.

For the online, I will make sure to use the power of social networking. I will keep on updating my facebook account with pictures that I take on various events, I will write more here on this blog – if the observer allows me -, and I will be more active on twitter.

5. Expand the pool of *acceptable* husbands: If there are few single men older than me now, then why not looking out for younger? People would talk, but so what? It is becoming a trend anyway.

What else? help me out

Your’s,
Haya

by Fadi Zaghmout

Virginity is overrated


* This post is not for minors!
** Some women might need male guidance! (kidding)

Virginity is overrated! Seriously!
It confines the whole sexual process in one act!
INTERCOUSE!
How absurd is this?
or is it not?

I had this converstion with different people
What does having sex mean?

Is it the whole package of different sexual acts?
cuddling, fondling, kissing, hugging, squeezing, oral, ..etc
or
It is just about intercourse?

Most answeres were the latter!
(what is the religious ruling here? anyone knows?)

BUT

What if I decide to skip intercouse and stick to the other stuff?
Does it mean that I am not having sex?
and that I am “shareefeh” (honorable) in the eyes of society if I am not married

DONT get me wrong
I am a married woman now (wooohoooo)

Ops…after a second thought
it can be applied on me as well
I mean it won’t be a betrayal if I did all of the above acts with another man (not my husband) without having intercouse with him
no?

*I am not going to do it, but I am talking hypothetically here*

I know
Intercouse is important to a lot of people
but as every other thing in life
People have different tastes!
Some would just enjoy their sexuality without having to be penetrated! (or penetrate!)

I am, myself, not a big fan of intercourse
I would rather stay virgin all my life!
and enjoy my sexuality at the same time
Is that a bad thing?

Isn’t virginity overrated here?
I mean, how many virgins are out there who do this?
and then hold up the moral card whenever sex is mentioned!

Regards,
Married Haya!