I thought that 30 years old would be the number where people would stop/shy of asking me questions about when am I going to get married. I was wrong. I now know that people have no shame… no shame at all.
When I am talking about people here, I am mostly referring to other women, those who call themselves friends and seize every little chance to ask me: “Haya, nothing yet happened with you?” “dear, you are 30 now, you have to work harder?” “Haya, you need to change, you are too serious, men don’t like that!”
What the heck! Suddenly, every woman who have a ring in her hand, becomes a relationships expert! The ugliest one from school who married her own cousin, the self-centered one who was madly in love with her boyfriend for 10 years only to leave him for the first wealthy groom who knocked her door, the unconfident, self-pity, woman who drove me crazy because of her fear of never getting married and seized up the only chance she got, and the woman who is nearly my age who only got married 2 months ago and now behaves like she is the queen of the world. All experts now! heh!
But hey, I am Haya. Haya who knows exactly how to strike back; women can ever be good enough, right? I know where to hit. “Aren’t you pregnant yet?” I hit the one with no children yet. “when are you plannin on getting the boy” for the one with a girl child. “only one boy? you need to get him a brother” for those bitches with a son! I always manage to find a way to hit on their nerves.
Honetly, like every other woman, I dream of my wedding day, I dream of finding the right man who would love and cherish me for the rest of my life. That is hard to find these days due to different cultural and personal reasons that sometimes make no sense to me.
Anyway, recently I came up with some realizations that would help me increase my chances of finding the right man, I will do the following:
1. Drop my fear package: Throughout the years, I built this shield of not trusting men. Men have proved to me to be assholes over and over again, and thus, I have always let this barrier of mistrust to eat out from any potential relationship in the horizon and eventually killing it. If I am going to love someone, then I am going to love him fully – with no fears
2. Hit the gym: No matter how much we try to trick ourselves in believing that men do really appreciate our minds, it is always our bodies who they appreciate first! I will take a loan and subscribe at VY. There are many wealthy bachelors out there for me to target.
3. Read the book “why men marry bitches”: It has always amazed me how those women who treated their boyfriends like garbage managed to get them to the alter! Me, being the nice girl, never managed to keep a man for more than 3 months!
4. Social butterfly: The more poeple I meet, the better chance of me meeting the right guy. Whether it is a wedding ceremony, a birthday party, or a cultural event, I will make sure to always be there. That is offline.
For the online, I will make sure to use the power of social networking. I will keep on updating my facebook account with pictures that I take on various events, I will write more here on this blog – if the observer allows me -, and I will be more active on twitter.
5. Expand the pool of *acceptable* husbands: If there are few single men older than me now, then why not looking out for younger? People would talk, but so what? It is becoming a trend anyway.
What else? help me out
funny so fuuny 😀 keep the good work and wish u luck hehe 🙂
oh 4got to say : Happy Birthday 🙂
I like the way you think.
At first I thought that I was reading a post by the Observer, and I thought to myself “That's funny. I thought the Observer was a guy”. Not like it mattered, but I was just surprised. Then I read that last line and I was thinking “Oh. OK. It's a guest writer”.
Anyway, I totally understand where you are coming from Haya. People tell me I'm too serious as well, but people need to understand that that's not always a bad thing, right? I too have trouble trusting men. I think a lot of women feel this way who have gotten burned in the past. You seem to have a pretty good grip on things. Don't let the naysayers get to you.
Mayyasi, thanks 😛
Dave, I am glad you do 🙂
Tina, actually Haya is a fictional character. She has been around for a while now. Check out her past entries in the archive. I, sometimes, like to write with a female perspective 🙂
You are right, being serious is not always a bad thing, and yes, while some men are not that good, you ought to give trust if you want a relationship to succeed, right? 🙂
u are great,i love it;)
my birthday gift will be why men marry bitches book;)ok!!
Great entry 🙂
Maybe men marry bitches – but I doubt they live happily ever after. I will rather live life unmarried, than turn in to a bitch (or change my self in other ways to fit the marriage-profile)in order to get married. If guys don't appreciate me the way I am – it's definitely their loss.
I have been (and currently am) in serious long term relationships for my entire adult life – but I haven't married yet…what does that say about me? Hmmm – or about men?
And you should definitely expand the pool to include the younger men – I highly recommend it 😉
I think Haya should become a lesbian and save us all the trouble of reading her posts about her miserable life 😛
Haya, you really made me laugh! I can absolutely recognize this behaviour among my friends, too.
Stop looking out for gorgeous men that fit every single of your descriptions 🙂 I never would have imagined I would marry my husband when we first met. Two complete differences. But he spent good months convincing me that he was worth it and I gave in 🙂
So don't look out for your typical wish list! – that's my 5 cents 🙂
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This post just made me smile 🙂
I'd say that you should do whatever you feel is right regardless of what the whole world might think. At the end it's your life. Tozz fel jamee3