Read first: حبيبي خذ شرفي و عيش 2
داخلي – صباح – غرفة
تجلس عبير على حافة تخت سامي. يدخل سامي الغرفة عاري الصدر. يقترب من عبير التي تقف امامه
سامي
اشتأتلك
عبير
انا كامان
يضم سامي عبير بقوة و يبدأ بتقبيلها
داخلي – صباح – منزل
سليم بعصبية يبحث عن شيء في الجوارير. يبدو انه وجده. يمد يده داخل الجارور
داخلي – صباح – غرفة
سامي و عبير عاريان على تخت سامي تحت شرشف رقيق. عبير مستلقيى على ظهرها بينما سامي يقبلها
عبير
انا كتير مبسوطة
سامي يتابع في التقبيل
سليم يصل الى باب الشقة. يطلق الرصاص على مدخل الشقة ثم يتابع بحثا عن عبير
ينتفض سامي و عبير بخوف لسماع صوت الطلق
عبير
شو فيه؟
سليم يفتح باب الغرفة
سليم
ولك شو بتعملي يا قحبة يا شرموطة يا عديمة الشرف
يصوب سليم مسدسه باتجاه عبير. ترقع عبير نصفها العلوي بجزع
عبير
سليم! سليم! وقف, لاء
يضغط سليم على زناد مسدسه. يسحب سامي عبير خلف جسده لحمايتها فيتلقى الرصاص في ظهره. تصرخ عبير في رعب بينما يتابع سليم طلق الرصاص
عبير
لااااااااااااااااء! سامي حبيبي
تضم عبير رأس سامي بين ذراعيها بينما يلتقط هو انفاسه الاخيرة. يقترب سليم منها و يطلق رصاصة نحوها
المشهد الثالث
خارجي – مساء – البرندة
تبكي عبير بحرقة بينما سهى تضمها و تبكي هي ايضا
عبير
غمضت عيني و غبت عن الوعي. لما صحيت فكرت حالي بحلم, ما كنت ادريه اصدق الي صار. عمري ما رح افهم كيف بلحظة وحده ممكن تتحول حياة الشخص من الجنة للنار
سهى
و لا احنى ما صدقنا الخبر… اد ما زعلنا على سامي, اد ما زعلنا عليكي كمان. بابا حلف انو يعمل اي شي عشان يحميكي, خصوصا بعد ما قرروا وضعك تحت وصاية الشرطة بالسجن ال حماية لحياتك! ماما او انا انجانينا. ما كان اددامنا حل غير نطلب من عادل يتجوزك, حتى نئدر نحميكي
عبير
يا الله شو انكم عيليه محترمة, انا ما بستاهل كل هادا بعد ما كنت السبب بضياع ابنكم. كان لازم تركتوهم يخلصو علي! يا ريت انا الي متت مش سامي
سهى
ما تحكي هيك, حبيبة سامي حبيبتنا, انتي زي اختي هلاء. جزء من العيلة
عبير
سهى, بصير اطلب منك طلب؟
سهى
اطلبي شو ما بدك
عبير
انا ما رح اقدر اعيش هيك. رح انجن. عقلي مش ادر يفهم انه غشاء الشرف هوه السبب في موت سامي. انا ما بأدر اتحرك. بدي اياكي تمدي ايدك و تمزعيه
تنظر سهى بدهشة و تررد الى عبير
عبير
بترجاكي
سهى
كتير صعب هالطلب
عبير
بعرف, عشاني, يالا انا جاهزة
تجر سهى كرسي عبير المتحرك داخل الغرفة المظلمة. تنظر الى وجه عبير التي تهز برأسها علامة انها جاهزة. تميل سهى نحو عبير و تمرر يدها داخل تنور عبير. ترتجف سهى و هي تضغط بأصابعها على غشاء البكارة لعبير التي تشعر بالالم و تصرخ.
Fadi Zaghmout فادي زغموت 
لا يمكن يكون في قصة اسخف او ارذل من هيك! يا زلمة استحي على دمّك! عيب عليك هيك كلام. امّك ما بتقرأ؟ اختك ما بتقرأ هيك حكي؟ يعني لشو بدك توصل؟بكفيك سخافة… القصة سخيفة.. و الأسلوب ضعيف.. و حضرتك مريض .. بكفيك قلة حيا و خلي عندك شوية شرف و دميا اخي في اطفال بتقرأ على الإنترنت.. في ناس محترمة.. حاول انك تحترمهم و لو شوي
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قويدر, انتا اهبل شي؟هذا البني ادم بفتخر انو شاذ جنسيا, شو متوقع منو؟
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Great effort, and I like the idea of the story, and the message it sends.Although I must say, the ending is not very strong. But I do like the overall idea, even though I think it needs more polishing to get a realistic feel to it.qwaider, You should be able to handle free expression if you want to use the internet. If you are to be taken seriously, stop trying to censor others.
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Amazing story man. Good job.And dear Qwaider. Such stories happen in our country. Whether you like it or not, you sir are living in denial. ‘Children read stuff on the net’? What a lame excuse for an argument. Porn is widely available online and if you are worried that the next generation would be morally destroyed by this story, then I’m sad to say that you are a hypocrite. ‘Have some honour and blood’? Accompanying honour with blood in your comment, is quite frankly disgusting, and is the main reason behind honour crimes and our backward look towards women in our culture and society. If that story was talking about a macho man who is sleeping around with women in the west. I doubt you would post such a comment. Stop the hypocracy will you. And lastly, if you think the story is so disgusting and disrespectful to your highness. Then why would you read it in the first place? It wasn’t shoved down your throat, and seeing as you commented on an earlier story by the authour, you should have known better. Sorry about that, Observer, but I had to reply to his lame comment. Again, an amazing story.
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Zait o Za3tar- free expression in jordan we live in conservative society is that your sister or your mom in this story, oh oh you are a faget 2.
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Dear anonymous, I am not referring to the first one, as he is not worthy of a reply in the first place.Anonymous 2, It’s funny how you were annoyed by the female character in this story, but mentioned nothing about the male character who was also minutes from having sex outside marriage. Oh, that’s right in our wonderful conservative society, it’s okay for a man to fuck around. Spare me the hypocracy will you.
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Yazan do your dad and mom know you are faget how about your sister is she lost her 2.
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First of all it’s spelled faggot, not faget. Before you try using a language to communicate with, make sure you master its basic spelling. Second of all, why would you call me that? Do you know me? I would guess not. But if you have a point, you wish to support, try to explain it logically instead of cussing the other side; whilst at the same time reveal your incompetence at spelling simple English words.
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Nice! One thing though. Sami’s family are way too understanding to be realistic. After Sami’s death, they’re taking care of Abeer? It’s unlikely.Qwaider, how can you be so against freedom of speech? Without talking about issues and challenging the status-quo we will never nit2adam. Also, you say the story is disrespectful, who is it disrespecting? Support your claim.Anonymous, what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you trying to offend everyone. And by the way, being gay (faggot) or having sex before marriage is not wrong or offensive. Everyone makes their own choices.
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Anonymous, I must congratulate you on your ability to debate. You just solved all the problems of this world in two words! Very Mature!
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How many fags does it take to keep a fire burning?All of them
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I like the story, sacrifice is something…
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After a night of fag sex,gay Bob wakes up for work,goes into the kitchen only to find his “boyfriend” jerking off into a ziplock bag.“What are you doing?” gay Bob asks.“Packing your lunch” says the boyfriend.
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why dont gays work at sperm banks?they always get fired for drinking on the job
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The story is weak and a bit unrealistic in terms of character development, there is a major gap in the events, more like a quick flash back rather than a story.The idea is not new at all; honor crimes. but the idea that this girl wants to deflower herself in revenge is a good base point for a more original script.instead of trying to comment or positively criticize what you actually wrote, they attacked the writer.How about not wearing Versace because the designer was gay, or not seeing the Monaliza because the painter was gay, or not visiting the sistine chapel because the paintings are drawn by a gay artist, or not reading the marvelous stories by proust, wilde or virginia wolf because the writers were gay.ofcourse we are retarded, not because we have different opinions. but because we have no idea how to express them.
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For the couple of morons that decided that this is a freedom of expression matter. This has nothing to do with freedom of expression. There are many ways to present an idea, and our objection towards it without having to paint dirty and indecent picture.Try to post a porn movie on Youtube, they will remove it. Is that lack of freedom of expression!?I’m all for freedom of expression, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of offending people. Young and decent people!Just look at the comments, how many Ladies you think are going to show up and write their real names here?!
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Dear Qwaider, I ask you again, if you are so annoyed and insulted by this story, why would you read it again. Bearing in mind that the entry had the same title as an earlier story, which you also happened to comment on? No one forced you to read the second story. You chose to do it. And about the youtube thing, it is well known that youtube is a site for 13 year olds and above. Hence porn and such explicit materials are not accepted on that site. But no one claimed that this blog, the Arab observer is rated G. And no one claimed that material posted here is suitable for children. Yes, it is freedom of expression. And if you are so annoyed by what is posted here. Don’t read it. You are also granted the freedom to chose what to read. P.S. There is no need to call anyone a moron here. Respect, you know, is a two way road.
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Qwaider, like you said, I’m a woman who is too afraid to post her real name, and this is precisely the lack of freedom of speech that I’m talking about.
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Qwaider, I don’t see what you are considering offensive?? Do you consider a woman suffering, blood, and shooting porn?Yazan got it right. Make your own decisions about what to read and not read. Also, we live in a society that opresses women, that only accept a predefined set of views. We will never advance as a society if we keep on trying to shut up everyone that disagrees with the mainstream views.I wish that we could follow Voltaire’s saying:“I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”
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Qwaider, May I ask you what specifically you are finding indecent and dirty? Is it talking about the hymen openly?
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As the curator of a community, there are people that look up to me for guidance and protection. These people, young and/or decent don’t appreciate reading some of the words that are abundant in this postBefore you start preaching saying “read it if you like or don’t read it if you don’t like” consider the people who don’t really have a choice in the matter. Kids, and decent people of all ages. They are not able to even voice thier opinionsMost will reply with Anonymous names, while I don’t resort to that. I’m open and clear in my message. This stuff doesn’t belong anywhere respectableJust as you say, don’t read what you don’t like, I reply back to you saying. Shut up and let me decide what I like and what I don’t like. While at it, shut up and let me decide how I want to react to it. It’s my choice. Just as it is your choice to think that this story is the worldBefore I hear any more pearls of wisdom coming from any one of you “figures”, please remember that I didn’t direct my initial response to any of you, and the only one who has the right to reply back to me is Fadi. Who can speak for himself.When a reputable site is sending readers of ALL ages to this blog it expects that the owner has the least amount of courtesy to keep it clean.Not so long ago, a Gay Jordanian blog was not allowed not because the owner is Gay. But because the content was explicit! Get it?Now for the last time, stop your useless objections, what was said was said for Fadi, Not to either one of you heroes. So keep your own opinions to your self or direct your ideas to the author. You can think the world of what he wrote, I can think it’s crap, that’s my choice.Special note to <>a different perspective<>No one is judging you here because you’re an atheist. I don’t care what you believe in, that is your personal opinion. I respect your choice, I don’t have to follow or agree with it. It’s your own, and I don’t judge you based on it.I don’t think you’re bad or evil because of it. I don’t think good is exclusive, nor do I think bad is exclusive to religious people, or people of faith. So don’t defend yourself you’re not being attacked!
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well as u said people such stories happen in our country and thats very depressing and sad , but in the same time , we got the point of that for older posts and doing it again and again wont make it more real …. may be the answer from your side is why to read , well it is a good blog without those kinda posts ……
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Fadi , u said this was a film script … DO you honestly think for one split second it might be acted , let alone featured some where ?! You can talk as much as you want about honor crimes and hymens ,, it is not “3eeb ” to do so but in a decent manner my friend ! I am siding with Qwaider on this one ! There are unnecessary parts in this post…The foul language u used cud've been more subtle & abeer's family is too good to be true !!!
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قويدر, لو انك واحد محترم ما بتجاوب في هاي الطريقة. انا عادتن ما برد على المسبات, بس ان واحد وقح و قليل حيا و متخلف. ما تعملي حالك زلمة زمانك و حامي الاخلاق و الشرف الباطلشو يعني اذا امرأى قرأت هدا؟ شو المرأة اقل تحما من الرجل؟ او هي ناقصة و بتستناك تحامي عنها؟ با زلمة بكفي رجعية و تخلف. بكفي فصل بين الجنسين في مجتمعنا و بكفي نظرة دونية للمرأةالناس المحترمة هي الناس الي بتحترم اراء الاخرين مش الناس الى بتخاف من خيالها و بتعمل حالها مستحية من اي شي الو علاقة بالجنس بينما تعمل كل شي من تحت لتحتOther guys, thank you for defending me. For those who critisized the script positively, I do appreciate your feedback. I know that you have some valid points. As for the family of Sami protecting her. It may sound unrealistic, but sometimes people do act unreastically to tragedies. My point is that guys are not always fooling the girls. There are some who do really fall in love and who do act on their sexuality based on their attraction and love for their girl friends. They would try to protect her the same way sami did.
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Sami was a virgin ?
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wasn’t Sami honor killed? lol!
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انا اخو سامي, بدي انيك خواتكوووووو قتلتو اخوييييي عشان خواتكووووووووووكس خواتكوووووووووووو , هيك و هو حبها كيف لو كرهها؟
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للأسف هاي أسخف قصة بل أتفه ما قرأت في حياتي!!!
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The script still has a looong way to go, I think. I would be really impressed if it was actually made into a film. I liked the part when Sami was looking in the drawer, could totally picture the scene, him nervously and clumsily tearing open the condom packet. The only thing is, the very…errr… civilized debate that took place and the anonymous comments and refreshing sense of humor (except for the last anonymous comment) is a tiny, toned down sample of what you are going to face if this film was produced. As I mentioned earlier this could be a lot stronger and still has a long way to go. The ending, as with the Jordanian spinster is very weak, I hated it to be honest. I do realize how you were limited by the fact that she is paralyzed and kind of saw that coming in previous acts, but I saw her paralyzation as a portrayal of how confined women in our society are and their inability to act against male dominance. The whole marrying into Sami’s family just simply doesn’t make sense, kind of reminds me of this article in Al Ghad newspaper. Another weak point: http://www.alghad.jo/?news=350295 My advice as someone who knows absolutely nothing about script writing is take your time writing it, it feels a bit immature and incoherent. You might want to consider using more symbolism and less explicit content, many of your future viewers and current readers are obviously not ready to look beyond the sex.
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I think it’s nice to discuss things out in the open for a change…instead of having everything done in secrecy like most of us do and we pretend being what we’re not
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Oh just realized that it’s Salim going through the drawer! never mind that then.
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the condom scene fawzi mentioned is a must, maybe add an earlier scene where they both study safe sex, that it was fully agreed on by the two, it wasn’t just a submission to him being horny or what she believes is “love”, be more realistic, try to prove at least that females and males can agree on a perspective of what love means, and picture the voices of the society in her head saying NO! if you just examine what turns a guy on and turns a girl on in this society, you will be amazed. did she have any flash backs of the society while he was kissing her? was there an inner voice telling her no. what did she want at that moment of time? did she see marriage coming forward, did he see marriage coming forward, did he get that far? what if she got pregnant? is he capable of supporting her while still in school, doesn’t having sex with her mean responsibility as well. is it valid in future prospects that she will commit to this man, we all thought that it will be the forever and ever with the first guy we fall for when in fact, its not love?? will you have a sequel to this about her inner judgment to all this? when she matures, how will she look back? will you try to define love? will you set an example for curious kids who are currently dating at the age of 15 – 21 now it looks like he was a horny sex newbie and she is the vulnerable who submitted to act against her values. any irrational act is to be blamed. even if you wanna call irrationality love. there are ethics in love too.
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Interesting post, to say the least, got people talking.If your aim was to broaden public awareness towards honor crimes i don’t think it got what it deserved, your script was way too offensive to most of the people who read it, if you’re trying to get people to back up such an effort, maybe using a different script that can get viewer’s attention, and most importantly; sympathy, to the noted character would have been a better move.while if it was to stir a controversy between people, it hit the jackpot, although i think we are people who like to argue, and have an opinion on everything (am doing it right now!), so presenting such a topic in this intriguing matter stirred that in most of your readers, probably creating an already used up approach.Whatever your approach was of the two, good luck in your efforts, i am a supporter!
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guys, it is hard to reply to everybody here, but I have to point out that Abeer is still a virgin. There was no need for a condom. They were making out in bed but she was still a virgin. That is why she later on wanted to tear up her hymen, because it was the reason for her to lose her lover and yet it was still there.
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خدعوها بقولهم حسنــاءُ &&& والغواني يغرهن الثنــاءُأتراها تناسب اسمي لمــا &&& كثرت في غرامها الأسمـاءُإن رأتني تميل عني كـأن لم &&& تك بيني وبينها أشيــاءُنظرة فابتسامة فســـلامٌ &&& فكلامٌ فموعدٌ فلقـــاءُيوم كنا ولا تسل كيف كنا &&& نتهادى من الهوى ما نشاءُوعلينا من العفافِ رقيـبٌ &&& تعبت في مراسه الأهـواءُجاذبتني ثوبي العصي وقالت &&& أنتم الناس أيها الشعـراءُفاتقوا الله في قلوب العذارى &&& فالعذارى قلوبهن هــواءُ
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جد جد … إلي اختشو ماتو! وما ضل في الخن إلا ممعوط الديل.أنا كان بإمكاني ما أحط إسم .. متل بقية اصدقاءك.. لكن بسيطة… شو عليه .. فكرتك بتفهم ، أو يمكن مش قصدك، طلعت لا بتفهم،ولا بتستحي ولا عندك ذرة شرف أو دم…حبيبي إذا فسل متلك اتهمني بالتخلف … فشكراً … شكراً .. خليت قلة الحيا الك و لاشكالاك
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Make the world a better place, punch Qwaider in the face.
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arab observer.Is it true that you sleep with your mam and sometimes your dad fuk you 2.Go to hill ya ebn al sharmota.
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أقذر مخلوق على وجه الأرض هو الخنزير ….. يجب أن يتم القضاء على هذه الكائنات المقززه
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ولكو انا اخو عبير , واختي اشرف من الشرف و احنا عيلة شلف و كس اختكو ع اختي ع هيك موضوع يا جماعة اللي برضى يكون اخو عبير بيأيد القصة سلام
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there is a way other than bad talk & silly comments 2 express urself, bs kul insan be3mal b aslo. I think if u had a point u can express it in a polite manered way, wtever ur thought was on the subject.
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